Monday, January 24, 2011

Where do I even begin?!?!

So I've been on a downward spiral lately. Don't know why? I'm a pretty optimistic person. And I'm quite motivated to get outta Dodge. But I swear "stuff" keeps getting in my way so I can't do anything to make this happen. I'd pay GOOD money...ok I don't actually have any but if I did, I would......for some sleep so I could wake up one morning and just get everything I want taken care of, taken care of. WHY is this such a tall order lately?
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I know I know.....we all have these spurts of crap-filled days. But this is mine. Just remember>you signed in to read this, I didn't call you to bitch! (yet) hehe

So where do I begin. Officially our day starts at midnight. SO......at 12:21am I was awakened by the wonderful wretching noise that I've become so familiar with. Except this time it wasn't the dog?! It came over the baby monitor and was the sound of my daughter puking all over herself, her bed, the floor near the bed, the night table, her pj's, and I swear there was a splat on the door too. She's such a trooper though. Her sweet little two year old self just said "I puked. I'm tired. Please change me MaMa?" I smiled even though I felt like puking myself. I don't think I'll ever go near those oatmeal breakfast squares OR peaches ever again. The smile was because she's just so awesome no matter how crappy she feels. She knew she was a little under the weather, but really just wanted to have clean, dry clothes on and go back to bed. Mommy's little girl <3 Unlike my 4 year old son who already makes the rest of us suffer through his "mancold". You know.......the cold only a man can get that he feels coming 3-4 days in advance and makes everyone suffer 10x more than he actually does for the duration of it?! I've birthed 3 minis and haven't asked for that much attention. So now the trait has been passed on to my eldest. And I'm sure it's only a matter of time until the baby, also a male, picks up on this dreadful behavior and follows suit. Hopefully Mommy can teach them a little something about how self pity doesn't pay off. But THAT will have to be a battle for another, less smelly day in my household.
So I changed my daughter and her linens and cleaned the general area surrounding her bed and she fell back asleep instantly. Child 3 was less than content throughout the night though. So I kept waking to him crying. Then I'd go in their room only to find he'd fell asleep in the time it took for me to climb out of bed and walk alllllllllllll the way across the hall. Then I'd walk alllllllllllll the way back to my bed, get all cozy back under the covers, almost fall back asleep and he'd start at it again. This went on all night until about 5am. Then he passed out hard, as did I. 6:15 was the next time I saw on the clock in our room. I looked up to check the time because I heard my older two picking out clothes for the day. It will never cease to amaze me how self sufficient 4 and 2 year olds can be!! Of course they failed to remember their little brother(who had JUST fallen back to sleep after a night of on again-off again crying) was in the crib in the SAME room. So they woke him up as well! Awesome. Luckily, he was in a decent mood all things considered. and didn't mind hanging out in his crib for a while so Mommy could procrastinate getting out of bed a little longer.
But the second the older minis walked down the stairs we hear "MOM. DAD. CHAUNCEY (aka Fat Bastard) POOPED ON THE LIVING ROOM RUG!" You know you should pull the covers over you head and just try again tomorrow WHEN_________________all of the above happens. Ugh.
The Hubbs took care of that issue, and I crankily rolled out from under the covers that I feel like I hardly know any more, and threw on the same clothes I was wearing the day before so I could get everyone ready and take Child 1 to preschool. Child 3 spared me of a blowout(a trend of his for the past 4 or 5 days) so I felt there was some chance the day would turn out ok. Child 2 seemed to be feeling just fine. She has communication "issues" sometimes though, so we can never be 100% sure. We'll ask "do you feel ok honey?" to which she responds "no". This really means "no-there's nothing wrong with me". This is particularly fun when she's actually crying and hurt and you have to name every part of her body at least twice and STILL end up pushing on things to see if she reacts to find out what actually hurts. We're working on this. We got through breakfast. Child 1 was ornery. But it all worked out ok. The Hubbs left for work. I packed the minis in the van and headed to school. Everything seemed like it was going to be ok. I come back home with the younger two and before I have my little girl's jacket off, she pukes on the rug. Joy. But once again the trooper, she wipes her mouth on her sleeve(oh great) and says "I puked MaMa" as the baby speeds toward it. This is exactly the point that I decided there is no rescuing today, it's better that I just make another pot of coffee and accept that this is how it's going to be today. Don't fret....Child 3 was scooped up by yours truly before he could splash around in the fresh pile o' vomit! So at least ONE thing went right today :)
Here is my optimistic view for today........Child 2 puked in the exact same spot Fat Bastard shit. So at least the rug will only need a deep scrubbing in ONE spot today :)
I'm trying I'm trying. In an attempt to keep being smiley.....I'll refrain from telling you how Child 3 spit up his milk all over himself in the van and how Child 1 came home from school even MORE ornery than when he left. Oh....I'll also leave out the fact that the weathermen are calling for another "nor easter". Those are getting really fun! Better get snow rations in the house(aka liqour).
Keep smiling........it makes them wonder what you're up to ;)

4 comments:

  1. Oh Good Lord- just cry. It's cathartic. Let's round up all of our pets, slap number tags on their asses and hire an auctioneer. Then we can serve hot dogs and smiles to the unsuspecting fools who bid on them.

    I got my new rug at Target. It was on sale. I could no longer remove the skid marks from Black Dog off the old one. The next house we live in will be all concrete with a drain in the center of each room and a power washer that I can drag around the house.

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  2. LMFAO.......thank you! This made me laugh SO hard. Concrete with drain hole sounds ideal. Q pooped out of the neckhole of his shirt tonight....onto the very same f'n rug. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.?!?!?! Who does that?!?!?! He wasn't even wearing a onesie. That kid's got talent.
    I love pets. They enrich our lives. I love pets. They enrich our lives. I love pets. They enrich our lives. And...........sob.
    LOL

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  3. I laughed out loud at your optimism of the puke and poop being in the same spot. You are AmAZING!!!! wish you could sneak away for a weekend. I hear our house makes a great parent respite. Good luck Punkin!! where's that yoga in a bottle when you need it????

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  4. "Amazing" is just plain old "crazy really! LOL
    And....while I haven't bought yoga in a bottle yet, I do have SOME relief in a bottle. It's a brown bottle, about 12oz worth of sanity in each bottle. Ahhhhh.
    I would LOVE to come to your house one day :) I'll pump myself full of Benedryl and spend some time rolling around with the muffins :)
    PUNKIN PIE!!! lolol

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