Pack

So admittedly not a shining quality to share with everyone.....I used to be one of those people who judged parents with their child on a leash! I know...totally shallow. Especially since I didn't have kids yet, and even for a while after having my own.
Comments flew through my head(and sometimes my mouth) like, "really lady? just control your child." or "maybe if you give it a bone, it'll stop crying?" and "is it that difficult for you to bend down to hold his hand?!".
OBVIOUSLY.....I had no friggin CLUE what I was talking about and the person who invented those little leashes for kids should be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize!
My sweet little angels were fairly manageable in public until we were outnumbered by Child 3! Now my 4 1/2 year old thinks it's hilarious to dart up and down the aisles in stores completely out of my sight. (which scares the crap out of me.) And my darling 2 1/2 year old daughter follows suit or ever-so-sweetly curls herself around my ankles while I'm carrying Ginormous Child 3 and he's wiggling like a walrus having a seizure trying to break free of the ninja grip I have on him.
Whew..........I'm exhausted even THINKING about going to the store.
And while I know there are tons of self proclaimed experts on Child Rearing, I never love everything they have to say when I'm searching for advice.
So I go to the source that I trust.
He's foolproof.
And people all over the country email and call and even go see this gentleman to tap into his wealth of information about handling ornery loved ones. Even if it's just the simple case of being outnumbered like I am.
So I email the Dog Whisperer.
Really.
You know? Cesar Milan!
He really is amazing...I mean COME ON......they gave him his own show and everything!
I email him about my "pack". I mention the kids as certain breeds that I associate them with. For instance, my daughter is very petite but can easily defend herself against her brothers when she needs to. She has a quick step, is very agile, super smart, very capable, not shy, and stubborn as all hell.
She is my Jack Russell.
My youngest is HUGE. He's a 30 lb one year old. Bleach blonde hair. Chubby cheeks. Very happy and sweet. But you sort of cringe when he's running towards you because you know it's gonna hurt. Oh and clumsy :) He's flippin adorable and squishy and complete strangers walk up to him to touch his cheeks.(I hate that by the way...please keep your strange, dirty hands off my adorable baby boy!)
He is my Bulldog.
Now my oldest is a very shy dude. He's highly intelligent. But wired and crazy at the same time. He pushes every boundary known and unknown. But looks after his sister and brother like they're his responsibility.
He's my Labrador Retriever.

My emails go something like this:

Dear Cesar,
I walked in the room the other day to find that my Jack Russell had feces on her face. How do I discourage this behavior without standing over her all day every day?


Dear Cesar,
My Labrador is ornery with myself and my husband. He nips at our Jack Russell every once in a while. But I think it's just for added attention from us? I have made a point to put him into a social environment outside of our house. He loves preschool the dog park but is shy with the other dogs and owners. He loves to play but isn't comfortable engaging others. Any tips on socializing a "shy guy"?


Dear Cesar,
My bulldog eats EVERYTHING! Is this NORMAL?!?!?! Oh, and is there breed known for climbing? 

Now you know my secrets to good sound advice!
I have to go grab the minis out of their crates....I mean rooms and get them ready for Easter Dinner!
Sans leashes of course.
Happy Easter folks!