The Sounds of Nature

The few moments in my life that I actually do get to sleep, I dream of nature. I LOVE being outside. I LOVE the mountains and streams and trees and all that fun stuff. Subsequently, when I dream, it's of the sounds of these things. Wind rustling through the leaves. Babbling brooks. Softly singing birds. (not the squawking crows or cracked out woodpecker that likes to peck on my SIDING)

Then I wake up.

Not that sweet long stretch of a wake up either. But rather the panicked jump out of bed to the noise of a 112 pound dog retching his gut at the side of my bed before puking on my rug.

It's 5 am.

If you don't have the distinct pleasure of owning a dog. Let me share the wonderfulness of this noise. There's a very clear, deep, almost drumlike noise as the beast churns up whatever has decided that after sitting there for nearly 10 hours, it can't wait in the stomach for another 2 when normal people wake up. And then a God awful "BLAP" followed by the wet noise that is now my bedroom carpet.

Dog for sale. CHEAP.

After this particular episode, I decided sleep was just not in the cards. So I ran downstairs and let the dogs out, lest there be another pleasant "event" on one of my floors. To the coffee pot. While that was brewing, I decided I'd better go clean up the mess in my bedroom before one of the minis woke up and tried to find Mommy. Because I know no matter where the mess is, their feety pj's will find it. Much to my surprise, there was a present in the middle of the pile!! (I love surprises) String cheese. Still in the wrapper. Isn't that special? Yeah. I thought so too. 

It's things like this that make me laugh (much much after the fact) when The Hubbs claims that I'm not a morning person.

Please feel free to introduce me to the Haldol infused crackhead that IS a "morning person" after dealing with this! I won't hold my breath!